A Beijing Birthday

Friends, today yours truly is adding another notch to the signpost of life. Even at 22 ticks, I have been very fortunate to witness, perform, and live through so many wonderful experiences, they are already far too numerous to recount. However, I do know one thing with full certainty: none of the above could have ever been accomplished without the people around me. Family, friends - even complete strangers - all have a played a pivotal role in getting me to where I stand now. It is you who have stuck by me through the lows, highs, and the simple times that really make this life so special.

I was told that the Chinese always celebrate before an actual birthday, so I decided to follow suit. The party began on the 14th, but dragged well into the early hours of the 15th - my real birthday.

In order to get at least a little closer to home, I decided to take the gang to a local Russian restaurant. There are three in the Dongzhimen area and having been to two of them, it would only be fair that I give the last one a shot (okay - many, many shots). Between plates of olivie (cooked vegetable/meat salad), shuba (vegetables and pickled herring salad), varynyky and pil'meni (dumplings with potato/meat filling), golubtzi (meat stuffed cabbage leaves), dyruny (potato pancakes), crock-cooked beef, chicken Kiev and bottles of Khortytsa (Ukrainian vodka), as well as Baltika (Russian beer), everyone found something to their liking.


"For those of you that don't know me well enough, I am an aspiring politician..." The speech might have begun with some major BS, but I sent the first toast off to friendship, that most cherished of things in all of our lives. It amazes me how quickly strangers can come together to form everlasting bonds. Such is the case here - at the table we have represented Germany, France, Sweden, China, America, Canada and Ukraine. Amazingly, this is but a small cross-section of the people I've been able to meet in my month and a half in the Central Kingdom.



The plum-flavored Khortytsa was a huge hit with the crowd.




With all that vodka, we were getting pretty rowdy before the food arrived. As a result, each time a dish showed up, it did an instant disappearing act - oh yeah, it probably helped that everything coming out of the kitchen was delicious. Whether Russian or Chinese, the cook must have gotten the message not to disappoint tonight.


Nina may be Chinese, but speaks excellent Russian in addition to English. She spent a year in Russia and knows all about na zdarov'ye!


Andy the German is looking more like an Italian while explaining something to his comrades, auf Deutsch complete with hand signals.


Chris, Andy, and Brandon really outdid themselves with this one - not only did they get us a scrumptious cake, but they had to guess my age while doing it! Recent news to the contrary, today's spies can be slick and effective.







Francois is looking very...French. It was Bastille day, after all.


Yep, you wish you were there.




We made short work of those bottles. After drinking Chinese spirits, everyone would admit that Ukrainian and Russian alcohol is the best stuff around.


This photo would usually be taken with Mom's cake, but we did the best we could - which turned out superb.


If this were a military unit, Brandon would be the second in command, or XO (for Executive Officer). Here, XO is prompting the troops to form up for a group shot, though the task requires that much more effort and discipline when the unit has been properly lubricated by Eastern European spirits. You already know who the CO (for Commanding Officer) would be. He's the one for whom modesty is not a character flaw.


The group. Two Canadians and a German had to make off earlier - it being a Wednesday night for the more dedicated among us - so the group is somewhat incomplete. From left-to-right and back-to-front: Nina (China), Olaf(Sweden), Francois (France), Rockxuan (China), Brandon (USA - Virginia), Me, Chris (Germany), Andy (Germany), and Leelo (China). After this, it was off to Sanlitun for some much-needed dancing!


To another successful year!

Beijing Driver’s Bill of Rights

Even those of us who know very little about about engines - or cars in general - know that the average personal vehicle sports 4 cylinders, which provide more than enough power for most drivers on the road (yes Carl, I know you're not in the most-drivers category, read on). However, sometimes one needs a little "kick" in his or her life. In those cases, people can resort to something slightly bigger under the hood - such as a V6, or 6 cylinders. In extreme, I-Need-To-Lay-Rubber-Down-On-This-Damn-Road cases, gas-guzzling V8s may be employed, giving the driver access to 8 cylinders and usually over 300 horses with which to gallop around other (read slower, 4-6 cylinder propelled) traffic. Unfortunately for those of us pushing Toyotas, the top of the vehicular food chain does not end there. Let me give you an example via a practical situation.

You make tons of money (pick any given number, several mill per year sounds reasonable), therefore you buy your girlfriend something fast, sexy, with smooth curves (to better match her) - like a Mercedes coupe. As chairman of the board, you must act senatorial - so as much as you would like to drive something with two-doors that sits low above ground (Ferrari, Lamborghini) your vehicle must be large and imposing (think Beijing vs. Venice). However, you've at times been known to hold "business meetings" with "fellow executives" (oh they execute alright) at various locations around town, typically late into the night. In the off-chance that your girlfriend finds out about the true nature of the "contract" you're supposed to be "signing" tonight, you may have to make a quick getaway - likely to involve a Hollywood-style chase through the early-morning streets. She's driving a fast-as-a-thief two-door Merc. You're driving a sedan weighing more than a dump truck. You have to get to the office and pretend that you're working hard, before she does. What to do? Luckily, the Audi vehicle company has a solution just for you - the W12 engine. W? Is that a typo, Mr. Wannabe-Author-Sergiy? Nope, I meant W - not V. What happens when you put two Vs next to each other? That's right - you get a W. German vehicular wizards did precisely that - fusing two (2?!) V6 engines together for the benefit of those among us who have to routinely outrun Ferraris - while driving armored limousines. Goodbye, girlfriend (as far as she's concerned, you've rolled up your sleeves and have been hard at work in the office all night). Audi A8 W12 - facilitating "business" around the clock, starting at a meager 120,000 greenbacks.

Now that we're in the mood to talk cars, let me just take another Beijing second out of my day to discuss the very important matter of vehicle ownership here at the center of the universe. All vehicle drivers in the capital enjoy the following basic rights:

1. Owning your very own car in Beijing entitles you to the right to do what you will and act how you please while behind the wheel. Reverse on crowded highways? Check. That emergency lane to your right? No way could it have possibly been created for ambulances. U-turns in the face of oncoming walls of traffic? Standard operating procedure. In the event that a traffic light actually slows you down, nuzzle as close as possible to any moving traffic and impede it from making decent progress. Pesky pedestrians? Mow ‘em down like wheat at fall harvest.

2.There is almost no territory you cannot traverse in your vehicle. Sidewalks? Your very own highways, the best part – park anywhere you like (for greatest effect, I recommend choke-points where pedestrians have to really scramble to get around you with their bike carts and paraphernalia - alleys laid down several hundred years ago tend to do nicely). Feel free to drive over and around any clump of land that is unoccupied (or occupied by something that will give way). Use the horn plenty and often, because when combined with air pollution and the push-shove-tumble of a sidewalk, you contribute to the creation of an enchanting urban melody for all senses which can only be found in places like Beijing.

If you thought the above sounds exciting, you haven’t seen much yet. The fun really begins when you find yourself behind the wheel of a big-as-a-bus, fast-as-a-Ferrari official vehicle (basic black, of course) with red plates and placard on the windshield. The following rules take immediate effect:

1. You are entitled to not only do what you will and act how you please with total reckless abandon, but you can order others around in ways you see fit. How? Use the loudspeaker/siren/flashing-police-light conveniently located on your dashboard to bring a swift reminder to all the unfortunates around of your importance in their lives. Those annoying rickshaws slowing you down on your way to the bar? Push up against them (this is what you installed those fat bumpers for, remember?) and let them feel the naturally aspirated V12 engine revving like an angry tiger under your hood. Late to your third mistresses’ apartment for dinner and have to cut across a 12 lane intersection being crossed by 700 people? Amplify your command voice via loudspeaker to scatter those underlings like bowling pins. Who are they, attempting to cross a marked sidewalk in 20 seconds after having waited for the light to change for the past 20 minutes? You’ve got a wife to avoid!

2. The only territory you cannot traverse is territory you really cannot traverse. Translation – you can drive on/over/under/through anything short of a vertical wall, though specially outfitted official vehicles can probably be used in these situations. I’ve actually seen Audis the size of city buses squeeze through hutongs (alleyways) some people may have trouble riding bikes through, needless to say anything and everything had to get out of that thing’s way as it navigated up the street, driver applying liberal pressure to both horn and accelerator to facilitate the process.

As Sylvain, my (former) French roommate, would say “Welcome in Beijing!”



Come to papa, baby. Not even a Lambo can escape Beijing's dirty streets - note the muddy lip.



I want you to think really hard about the following scenario - just don't hurt yourself. 500 pedestrians and 350 cars are getting ready to cross a major intersection after waiting 10 minutes for the light to change. As the light goes green, the above black Audi rolls up. How many of the waiting pedestrians/cars get across before the gentleman behind the wheel of the aforementioned Audi does?


Beijing is probably one of the only towns where you can utilize the ingenious practice of masquerading your taxi cab as a pedestrian and actually get away with it. I may have to give this one a roll next time I’m driving through Georgetown, if I read it right, the transit time savings can be enormous.


Wondering where motorcycle-boy is going? Me too.


You can probably imagine what a couple of these will do to the traffic flow on a major artery during rush hour.

Harmony in Haituo

Continuous acupuncture treatments non-withstanding, it was time to get some proper running in, which means clean air and drastic elevation changes. Beijing is ringed by mountains - on good air quality days, I can actually see them from my office window, despite the closest of them being over 30 kilometers away.

The only problem with getting out of Beijing is my acute lack of Mandarin, which inhibits my access to transportation. Unlike the city subway system with its map and clearly laid-out stations, the bus routes around Beijing are too numerous to list and put down on paper, with hundreds of buses going by thousands of different roads – you really have to know where you’re going and which bus to take in order to get to your destination in anything resembling timely fashion (if you get there at all). Not one to be restrained from scaling a (big) pile of rocks, I swung my cursor over to the Beijinger, a popular site for local ex-pats and English-speaking Chinese alike. It didn’t take me long to find Sonia, a Chinese woman with a real penchant for hiking and nature. She gathers groups of Chinese and foreigners for a trip out of the city almost every weekend. Having visited most of the local parks and mountains, Sonia is quite comfortable with traversing greater Beijing. Perfect.

Several peaks in the Beijing area exceed 2000 meters in height. Lingshan mountain is the highest at over 2300 meters, with the top of Haituo (also named Song Shan) coming in around 2,241 – this is the range we would be heading to on this particular outing. Unfortunately, the trail we would take tops out at a peak height of 2198 meters – but it would have to do.

We began by taking a bus out of town. The 2 hour trip turned into 3 as we ran into (you guessed it) a huge column of trucks. The aforementioned truck column has been haunting me on every trip outside of the city. Just when I think I’ll get to breathe something amounting to pristine air, out of nowhere come rows and rows of hulking 18-to-24-to-36-wheelers spouting black smoke into the atmosphere and making me hate life. On the plus side, we drove by various sections of the Great Wall – my first sighting of this wonder of the world. After maneuvering our way through the truck formation and past the Wall, we finally arrived at a small city - Yanqing county center. From here we would have to rent a car to take us to the trailhead. For 260 kuai, the driver would take us the 60 kilometers up into the mountains, wait for us to complete the hike, and bring us back again – not a bad deal when split between 8 people.


The Great Wall snaked along ridge-lines we drove under.


The 60 kilometer drive from county center to trail-head was done over some of the roughest terrain I've ever traversed in a car. Besides being made almost entirely out of rocks, the road meandered through serpentine switchbacks as it rose and fell over the Haituos. I seriously doubt this sort of thing would be attempted with anything less than all-terrain tires and 8 cylinders back in the States, but our van was equipped with lawnmower-thin tires, powered by 4 tiny cylinders, and loaded down with 8 (fat/happy) passengers plus driver. Result - our kidneys felt every tiny bump in the road, jolting us up, down, sideways, and into each other as the driver fought the road each second of the way. If I didn't spend the majority of my time shielding the camera from direct impact with someone's elbow/knee/face/walking stick, I would have filmed a little video clip of this ride-from-hell. Some of those downhill runs were truly epic - I swear at one point the window next to me almost cracked when the driver pretended to be a pilot and landed the van in a hole three seconds after getting it airborne.


Haituo! The beauty of this place is difficult to describe. From where I stood to take this photo, we would climb to the furthest/highest peak seen over the horizon. The trip takes an average of 2-3 hours one way, starting with flats and then turning sharply up and over several smaller peaks before reaching the top. As agreed, at this point I left my group and began running up the trail. I would go all the way to the top before turning around and meeting them somewhere during their climb up.


First time at the top. This mountain/trail is very popular with the Chinese but rarely sees any foreigners. The entire way up, Chinese hikers were downright stunned to see me, instantly producing cameras and smiling for me to get a picture taken with them - despite hearing about this in America and after arriving, this is the first time I experienced this sort of treatment. A hiking group was resting on the peak when I ran up there - before I realized what's going on, the leader hailed me down, handed me one end of a flag to hold, and pointed my face into his photographer's camera - oh yeah, instant celebrity. In return, he got to take a photo of me with the plaque denoting mountain name and elevation.


The air was amazing at this altitude, I couldn't get enough of it. While it was around 35 degrees and sunny down in the valley, it couldn't have been more than 18-20 degrees up here, with a fine mist covering the mountaintop. The air was filled with buzzing - note the bees - even at this altitude there are lots of flowers growing in the meadow for them to harvest nectar from.



The white, yinlianhua(银莲花) and yellow jinlianhua(金莲花), flowers only grow at altitudes of over 2000 meters. We were very fortunate to find some.


Second time at the top. After running to the peak and taking lots of pictures coming back down, I ran into my group - they were about halfway up the trail. They were at the most brutal part, where the path begins to move steeply up for over a mile. With the afternoon sun raging and her backpack loaded down, Sonia was really struggling. After grabbing her pack and offering her (personal trainer style) encouragement, we continued moving up the mountain. Eventually, we made it to the top - by this time the sun had burned off most of the mist, so we were rewarded with beautiful views in all directions.


By this time the entire group was starving. Now, I like to pack high-energy, low-weight food such as dried fruit and nuts when traveling over land, so much the better to fuel me but keep the weight down. My fellow hikers however, had other notions, finally revealing what they were carrying in their bulging packs. To my surprise (and delight) lunch consisted of everything from fresh (tomatoes, cucumbers) to pickled (cabbage, peppers) vegetables to dumplings filled with meat and mushrooms. Chocolate, cookies, and fruit rounded out the spread. On second thought, I shouldn't be surprised it took them so long to get up the mountain.




Flowers lined our entire path, up and down the mountain.



A clear stream ran down the mountainside - it was very cold to the touch. It would have been great to splash the guy napping in the trees, especially for brushing up on my Mandarin curse words.



More flowers, though I can't name these.



Horses were chomping on grass all around the valley.


The official trail start is the black tent near the pond. Our driver waited for us in this village, his is the crimson-red van standing away from the two parked face-to-face. Near the van is, coincidentally, the flag-bearing hiking group leader from the mountaintop - the one who was so anxious to get a photo with me.



This pond serves many purposes for the locals. By the time my entire group made it down the mountain, it was perfectly clear that we would not make it back to county center in time to catch the last bus to Beijing. Our driver gunned the engine and we were off to the local train station.



The station may have been located in a rural area, but the train was anything but. As a supply chain major, I like to think that I know a thing or two about steel horses, but this thing was quite a surprise even for me. Cruising at over 120 km/h - a panel indicates speed, outside temperature, and other data - this thing was not only loaded chock-full of technology, but even the bathroom was big enough to stage a World Cup football match. As for headroom and the main alley - well let's just say that I could have probably landed a 747 with engine fire and still had enough room to park a stretch Lexus in there. There was enough legroom to lay yourself flat on the floor in front of your seat. The train was empty, so we commandeered ourselves a train-car and promptly fell off to sleep after dispatching the remainder of our food supply.


The group on our way back to Beijing. The outing was a blast - besides getting to ride in a Chinese bus, car, and train, I got to run up and down a mountain, experience more of the local nature, and friend some great people - all in fresh air.